I suddenly realised yesterday that, having spent a couple of hours playing around with Crystal, I felt much better than I have for ages. The world seems suddenly to have gone back to feeling like a benign place to be and the slightly hyped up way I've felt to some degree or other ever since March has vanished. It might just be coincidence but I think it's to do with Crystal.
She has come here to a totally strange place, leaving everything and everyone familiar behind her, and she's just accepted it all, settled down and made the best of it. I still had plenty of familiar things and people around me but it's still taken me six months to do the same.
Ages ago a friend of mine, when I text him and asked him if he'd ever been afraid of the future, told me he'd been where I was and the secret was to try not to look too hard into the future or you ended up with knots in your stomach and wanting to run away. He said just to take deep breaths and try to go with the flow. His words touched and helped me so much that I printed them off in copper plate script and framed them. They hang on the wall and I read them often.
No-one had to tell Crystal that - she just knew. She has decided to settle down and hope for the best and the best is exactly what she's going to get.
The same friend also text me the other day and said that he was glad I was looking so happy and seemed to be having fun because life has to be fun. His children are so lucky to have him as their father.
With all my lovely, kind friends and lovely, kind ponies how could life be anything else?!
This is my new blog to continue my journey with my Dales Ponies. It will also be the story of my building a new life for myself, alone now, except for my friends, horses and dogs, since my partner died in March 2009. We had lived and worked together, mostly twenty four hours a day, for nearly 28 years and I have never lived alone before. It is a tribute to my wonderful friends that I am still here, still sane(ish) and ready to re-invent myself. I love them all more than words can ever say and can never thank them enough for all they have done and are still doing. It is also a tribute to Alexandra Kurland and 'The Click That Teaches' that I know how to save myself now. To new beginnings.......